Tag: love

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Featured Fitness Health

Learning to Love your Body: 3 Simple Ways to Silence Your Inner Critic

Inner Critic
Olivia, a DOGPOUND LA trainer

by Olivia Poling, a personal trainer at The DOGPOUND‘s Los Angeles location

Photo Credit Bryan Espino

Ladies, tell me if this sounds familiar: you walk into your favorite department store wallet in-hand, ready to buy the PERFECT pair of jeans. You confidently stride over to the rack and sift through the piles until you find “your” size. Then it’s off to the dressing room – you know, that weird-smelling, slightly-disgusting little box with bad lighting – but no matter, with all the optimism in the universe you step into that “perfect pair” of jeans, pull them up, and start to button them.

But wait a minute… something’s not right…
“Are these tighter than last time?” 
Your heart begins to race. Panic sets in. 
“Oh my god. No, no, no… somethings wrong.  These have to fit.” 

But alas…after zipping and buttoning them closed it’s clear that on this day, at this moment, these “perfect” jeans are far from perfect…and a healthy dose of that confident optimism you had just a moment ago disappears in the blink of an eye.

But even worse… now you have to make the walk of shame.  You have to walk back out onto the floor and find the next number that accusingly reminds you of how “not perfect” you are. 

All the while your inner critic tosses out snarky little barbs from the sidelines of your mind. 
“How could I let this happen?” 
“What’s wrong with me? Am I’m not beautiful anymore?” 

This inner critic we all have living inside of us is an insidious monster that constantly nitpicks everything we do. 

UGH! No wonder this drives us half nuts. 

And this isn’t an isolated case either, according to dosomething.org approximately 91% of women report being unhappy with their bodies. 91%!

This problem is epidemic, but how do we inspire body positivity alongside a healthy lifestyle. 

Here are 3 small ways you can begin to silence your inner critic and learn to love YOUR body.

Inner Critic

1. Understand your body is part of who you are, it’s not ALL of who you are.

Your body is part of you, but it doesn’t define who you are. Don’t lose sight of the fact that our lives are rich and dynamic with a multitude of passions, relationships, talents, likes, dislikes, and values. 

Focusing on your whole self–not just listening to your inner critic tear you down–will help build your confidence, and confidence is always in style and it’s always sexy. No matter what you’re wearing or your size.

2. It’s OK to want to make changes, just make them for the right reasons.

On any journey in life, fitness, health, or learning a new skill, everyone travels at their own pace.  No one is better than you, some people are just further down the line on the journey. That doesn’t mean that you won’t get there someday.  So, stop comparing yourself to people who have been at this for a long time.  

Focus on YOUR journey.  Start with small steps and take a minute to reward yourself for each successive milestone – maybe start by adding more veggies to your diet, exercise a little harder or a few more times per week, drink more water, get more high-quality rest.  

Trust me: small, consistent changes pile up quickly and, over time, you’ll achieve (and even smash through) your wildest expectations.  

This won’t just help you physically–your mental health will thank you for this more rational approach as well.

3. Embrace the journey, while learning to love who you are.

Despite what our modern society tries to convince you of nothing ever happens overnight, the best things in life are worth the time and the effort you put in.  So, learn to enjoy the process. Be kind to your body and your mind. It not only will make you stronger on the outside but on the inside as well.

I promise you, if you’re consistent and remind yourself of these 3 simple things every day, you’ll notice changes in your body as well as your attitude towards yourself in all aspects of your life. 

And, it might just be enough to silence your inner critic once and for all.

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Categories
Culture Featured Theater

Review: How We Love/F*ck is Intimate, Honest

How We Love/F*ck
Lillian is the author of How We Love/F*ck, as well as its narrator. Photo courtesy of Lillian Isabella
Image courtesy of Lillian Isabella

How We Love/F*ck explores sexuality with a simple honesty that draws you in, exploring a topic normally too taboo for discussion. That’s why we need it.

My 7th-grade health class had one day of sex education. A presenter came into our classroom and told us the story of a girl with a red paper heart. Every time this girl had pre-marital sex with someone new, her heart was ripped in half. When it was time to give her heart to the boy she wanted to marry, all she had left was a little red stub. And an STD. The presenter made sure to add that part, too. 

That was sex ed. The whole thing. Nobody even talked about genitals. High school got into the biology of it, but that’s all it ever was. Tab A; slot B; a baby comes out. Practical sex education is what you find out on your own, usually through trial and error. 

Maybe that’s why Lillian Isabella created How We Love/F*ck. Why she visited dozens of female-identifying sex experts to talk to them about their knowledge and experiences. How We Love/Fuck portrays these testimonies, as well as Lillian’s own experiences, with tenderness and honesty. Sometimes, her confessionals show her growing and reacting from what she’s learned. Other times, she’s reflecting on her past, often in light of what she–and the audience–are learning. 

The end result is an hour-and-a-half-long journey through female sexuality, as told by her subjects. A stripper compares her personal sexuality with the one she portrays for work. An anonymous woman tells how, as a child, she promised Jesus every night that she would stop trying to explore her body. Barbara, a sex educator, tells the audience about a test to tell the difference between a disturbing kink and one you’re just afraid you might like. Watch someone perform the act, she says, and become aware of your body. If you find yourself leaning back, then you know it’s not right for you. If you find yourself leaning forward, then perhaps it’s worth a try. 

The set is simple. Director Lorna Ventura’s stage direction is minimalist. Actors Lindsay-Elizabeth Hand, Tulis Mccall, Greer Morrison, and Nancy Sun, shift characters with a shawl or a headband. As one speaks, the others are usually still, or else performing delicate reactions like a silent Greek chorus. Lillian takes a back seat when she isn’t narrating. She is off to the side, scribbling in a notebook as you imagine she was when she first heard the monologue.

How We Love/F*ck
Lillian is the author of How We Love/F*ck, as well as its narrator. Photo courtesy of Lillian Isabella

How We Love/F*ck is all about those voices, and Lillian’s voice as well. Many of the interviewees had no one to talk to about their sexuality when they were growing up. Most had to figure it out on their own. For some of them, you wonder if Lillian was the first person they had ever talked to. How We Love/F*ck is the story of how Lillian and her subjects discovered themselves. It’s an archive of their mistakes and realizations, shared out loud because people need to tell them, and hear them. 

In many ways, Lillian’s play feels like a talking-heads documentary. Characters are introduced, share their experiences, and exit, as part of a larger story. In fact, Lillian tells one of her subjects early on that she is creating a documentary, not a play. As time goes on her explanation changes, and it’s easy to see why. In the confines of the Cherry Lane Theater, with its small stage and 50 or so seats, the monologues feel intimate and confessional. Like you’re in a trusted circle, waiting for your turn to talk. 

How We Love/F*ck might not be for everyone. These kinds of stories might make you feel uncomfortable. Then again, you probably have stories of your own. I know I do. I won’t tell you that you need to see this play, but I will give you a test. Take a moment to become aware of your body. Are you leaning forward, or are you leaning back?

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Lifestyle Uncategorized

Are You Concerned Your Partner May Be Cheating?

Are You Concerned Your Partner May Be Cheating?

Being in a loving relationship is something that can make a big difference to your life. However, there are lots of people who believe they are in this type of secure relationship only to then find that their partner has been unfaithful. If you are concerned that your partner may be cheating, it is only natural to want to find out one way or another – but how can you do this?

Well, there are various ways in which you can find out more about whether your partner is likely to be cheating or not. If you have suspicions, but you aren’t completely sure, going in and accusing them outright may not be the right step, as it will simply destroy the trust in your relationship. What you can do, however, is to look out for certain signs that indicate if your suspicions are founded. In this article, we will look at some of the indicators to check out.

What You Should Look Out For

So, what signs should you look for when it comes to whether or not your partner may be cheating? One of them is a sudden increase in the number of calls your partner receives or makes. If your partner starts to receive a lot of calls and is cagey about who has been calling, this could be cause for concern. You can find tools that will enable you to determine who was actually calling, such as phone number search tools. If your partner told you it was someone else calling, you may then know that they have lied to you.

Another thing that often changes when someone is cheating is their social media usage and habits. You may have found that, in the past, your partner was very open about using social media sites like Facebook in full view of you, but that suddenly they have started to hide the screen. Or they use devices out of your line of sight. You may also find that they are spending far more time on social media, and you may hear private messages coming in. Another thing you may find is that your partner suddenly turns off the phone screen or shuts the laptop if you walk into the room.

You may also notice a difference when it comes to your partner’s social life and appearance if they are cheating on you. Perhaps your partner was always very casual with their appearance before but has now started to make a real effort. Maybe they have started going out a lot more and are not inviting you along. They may even start doing a lot of late nights at the office – or at least saying there are. All of these things are possible indicators that something may be going on.

Of course, you also need to be mindful that these things do not mean your partner is definitely cheating on you. However, by looking for signs like this, coupled with your gut feeling, you will certainly get a far better idea.

Categories
Lifestyle

Making the Most Out of Online Dating Sites

Online Dating

Here Are the Essentials

In 2015, online dating became a two-billion-dollar business with one in 10 Americans reporting they’d used a dating website or an app. Of these people, 25 percent said that they’d found their spouse online.

Today, online dating is even bigger, but some people are still not making the most of it.

What does it take to make online dating work for you? That’s the question we’ll ask today in an attempt to identify the approaches that yield the best results.

Know What You’re Looking for

Before signing up for an online dating service, you’ll need to have an honest conversation with yourself.

What are you trying to accomplish?

Are you just curious, are you lonely, are you looking for a casual fling or a long-term partner? If you know what your objective is, you can cut through the noise and communicate with people who have similar priorities.

There’s nothing wrong about being just curious. Still, you need to be honest and upfront about it in order to make the most of the opportunity.

Choose the Right Dating Platform

Online dating has become so diversified that you will come across dozens of platforms and apps that cater to the needs of different audiences. You can choose a person based on religious affiliation, interest, professions and body type preferences.

DoULike.com is one of the most popular dating websites and it appeals to those who don’t have a strict set of criteria and who’d like to communicate with more people. There are also specific options like senior dating or local dating if you have some preferences about that.

If you know that what you’re looking for is very niche and specific, you should definitely look into an opportunity that’s developed to address the preferences of similar-minded individuals.

Online Dating

Be Selective about the People You Contact

Sending messages to someone or chatting with them online demands emotional involvement.

You need to be selective about the people you decide to communicate with more thoroughly.

If you initiate a chat session with every individual that messages you, it’s likely that you’ll get burned out very fast.

Stick to people that you like and are genuinely curious about. Ask yourself a simple question – do I want to learn more about them? If the answer is no, you should definitely move on and attempt to find a connection with somebody else.

Don’t Use a Selfie as a Profile Picture

While we’d all want to be deeper, the truth of the matter is that we’re generally shallow and we’re drawn to appearances.

Hence, profile photos matter a lot in the online dating realm.

Scientific research suggests that the best profile photos are the ones that start a conversation. Thus, you should forget about the selfie. You should also be starting the right conversation, so no photos with your ex!

Choose a photo that speaks a bit more about who you are. It could be you engaging in a favorite activity. It could be you at a favorite place that you’ve traveled to. It could be you surrounded by your pets.

Show a part of your world online and you’ll be rewarded for the honesty.

Learn How to Message People You Like

What are the characteristics of a great message? It’s original, it’s flirty and it’s fun. Accomplishing these goals is incredibly difficult.

The number one rule of online dating communication is stay away from the clichés. If possible, refer to something you’ve seen on their profile. This approach demonstrates attention to detail and an interest in learning a bit more about the other person.

Being flirty is perfectly fine, asking for nudes is not. There’s a fine line between being sexy and being creepy. If you think that you’re taking it too far, you probably are. Tone it down a little until you find out what the other person is comfortable with.

Finally, remember that humor is a subjective thing. Keep it mild and innocent until you get to experience the other person’s sense of what’s funny and what’s not.

Online dating gives you a chance to learn through trial and error. Don’t take it too seriously and remember to have fun. It’s not the end of the world if you’re rejected by someone. There will be many other opportunities to explore.

Categories
Fashion Featured

Trend Report Tuesday: 5 Valentine’s Day Outfits

https://stocksnap.io/photo/LGBCY0KDFK

Happy Tuesday! For this trend report, we made it a Valentine’s Day edition since the biggest day of the year for couples is just about here!

Couples can do a variety of things on Valentine’s Day, and since it’s the biggest date night of the year we know you’ll want to look the part. Whether you go to a movie, a fancy dinner or even spend the entire day together, we want you to look absolutely fabulous and as confident as ever.

If you haven’t already, make your Valentine’s Day plans and find an outfit that will make your date speechless.atThese are the five outfits we came up with that we’re sure would be perfect for your date!

Happy almost Valentine’s Day!

 

A Classic Dinner and A Movie Date

Photo courtesy of Polyvore

Sweater – H&M, Boots – Nasty Gal, Pants – H&M, Hoops – Stella & Dot, Rings – Forever 21, Watch – Nordstrom Rack, Tote – Nordstrom

 

An Active/Outdoors-y Date

Photo courtesy of Polyvore

Fitbit – Nordstrom, Hat – Nordstrom, Long Sleeve – Nordstrom, Vest – Nordstrom, Leggings – Nordstrom, Water Bottle – Saks Fifth Avenue, Backpack – Nike, Shoes – Kohl’s

 

Fancy Date Night

Photo courtesy of Polyvore

Earrings – Stella & Dot, Lipstick – Saks Fifth Avenue, Dress – Nordstrom, Purse – Kohl’s, Shoes – Macy’s, Phone Case – Macy’s

 

A Casual Day Date

Photo courtesy of Polyvore

Earrings – Nordstrom Rack, Shirt – Gap, Shoes – Nordstrom, Denim Jacket – H&M, Purse – Nordstrom Rack, Scarf – Nordstrom, Leggings – H&M, Watch – Karen Millen

 

“He Won’t Tell You Where He’s Taking You” Date

Photo courtesy of Polyvore

Earrings – Stella & Dot, Rings – Charlotte Russe, Purse – Nordstrom, Lipstick – Sephora, Dress – Nordstrom, Shoes – Nordstrom

Categories
Featured

Day 12 Of The 12 Days Of Christmas

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…12 Drummers Drumming, Eleven pipers piping, Ten Lords-a-Leaping, Nine Ladies Dancing, Eight Maids-a-Milking, Seven Swans-a-Swimming, Six Geese-a-laying, Five Golden Rings, Four Calling Birds, Three French Hens, Two Turtle Doves and A Partridge in a Pear Tree.

We all search for that “oh so perfect” gift, stressing over whether or not they’ll like it, spending countless hours and dollars trying to show how much you love them.

Holiday season is a time of giving, giving to and of yourself. Maybe we can’t give you 12 drummers drumming on day 12 of the 12 days of Christmas, but we can all give a far greater gift… one we already possess. No need to run around searching every shop or website for that one perfect gift. You know, the one you think says it all….

As you gather this holiday season with those you love and choose to spend time with, give them the greatest give of all…your undivided attention. Ignore the device, put down the remote, close that book and give them you.

Have a wonderful conversation with one another, communicate, hug, laugh and love, that’s all we really want. Make a point this Christmas season, whether with family, friends, neighbors, or co-workers, to give the gift of you.

Downtown has come up with a few simple ways for you to give the gift of attention this holiday season:

Give of your time: Ask people what you can do to help. It could be something they’ve been struggling with, or maybe just help with some chores. You may not think it’s important, but to them it may be the one thing they need, but feel uncomfortable asking for.

Truly pay attention: Listen and respond with interest. Focus solely on them, look at them like you’ve never seen them before. Ask a lot of questions, engage them in a good, solid conversation.

 

Put all the devices down and turn off the TV: Put aside time to make and accept calls when you’re not with family and friends. The greatest advantage of TV nowadays is the ability to watch any program, game or movie at our leisure. Don’t let calls, texts and TV take away the quality time you should be spending with those you love.

Include the children and pets: Show them that family and friends mean more than any outside influence.

Be grateful: Many people do not have family or friends to spend the holidays with… they may be estranged from those who mean the most to them.

Help someone who really needs it: It doesn’t have to be financial help — it can be a simple gesture, a kind word, or an invitation.

Volunteer: There are so many opportunities to give of yourself and of your family and friends. Make a new annual tradition this year before you celebrate… volunteer!

On day 12 of the 12 days of Christmas, Downtown wishes you the most joyous, safest and happiest of holidays, and we thank you for taking the time to read our content, pick up our magazine and support our brand!

Merry Christmas!