Tag: Dating

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“The Great Love Debate”: Downtown Q&A with Host Brian Howie

Historically, dating has never really been easy.

Back in the day, it was “When do I call them back?” “What kind of flowers should I bring?”. Those questions have turned into “Which emoji do I send back?” “Should I swipe left or right?”, and so layers become added onto the already-complicated of being single in today’s world. “The Great Love Debate” explores the trials tribulations and triumphs of the dating scene nowadays, and dissects the “dating disconnect” that plagues each major U.S. city, one show at a time. We chatted with the show’s host and NYC native, Brian Howie, to put our finger on the pulse of today’s dating scene. He tells us that your love life might not be as tricky as you may think, all with the help of the show.

The show will return to New York City for the final time tonight at City Winery NYC. Special guests will include Erin Davis from Bravo’s Camp Getaway, Christina Weber from the new Andy Cohen Peacock show Ex-Rated, Anna Morgenstern from Summer House, and a few more surprises!

Brian Howie at The Great Love Debate show

 

DTM: Can you tell us a little about the history of “The Great Love Debate“, and how it came to fruition?

Brian Howie: In late 2013, I wrote a book called “How To Find Love in 60 Seconds”, which was a semi-satirical look at Hollywood dating, and what I thought the issues were.  My manager suggested that rather than do a traditional bookstore promotional appearance, why not raise some of the questions that the book raised in a Town Hall-style, theater setting, and we decided to do a one-off in Santa Barbara, CA in Jan 2014, and that one-off has turned into more than 400 shows in over 120 cities and 11 countries.

 

DTM: How does the show work? What does it entail?

BH: Every show is different, but the common thread is that we are trying to get to the root of the dating disconnect in that particular city.  So I am out in the crowd, trying to pull complaints, hopes, problems, pressures, anecdotes, dating disasters, etc, and by the end of the night hundreds of people have been heard from…and they discover that their love lives really aren’t that far away from being absolutely fine!  We have an on-stage lineup of celebrities and local personalities who react to and comment on, the proceedings.

It is wild, it is feisty, it is hilarious, and most of all, it is honest.

 

DT: What makes “The Great Love Debate” different from other shows like it?

BH: Most “live dating shows” are fairly scripted, we totally wing it every night, which adds to the excitement, and makes every show a unique experience. Many people come over and over, they always learn something new, and always meet someone interesting!

 

DTM: One of the show’s taglines is “Get your head out of your apps.” We think that’s great. Does the show’s motive draw audiences away from dating apps? What is your personal stance on those apps?

BH: We can’t pretend apps don’t exist, or won’t exist, people just need to know how to use them, and why, and understand that they are a means to an end.  I always get asked, “what’s the best dating site?” And my answer is simple. EARTH. This means there are opportunities and possibilities all around us every single day to find love, you just know how to recognize those opportunities, act on them, and most importantly, don’t reject them. The apps, when used correctly, can increase the opportunities to connect, what you do to build upon those opportunities is the key to using the apps.

 

DTM: Do you think dating will ever revert back to what it used to be before dating apps?

BH: The upside of the lockdowns was that people realized that technology isn’t a satisfying substitute, that people really want and need to connect in person.  So apps will always be around, but people will use them more to get to the actual date. People probably complained that the telephone was ruining dating back, in the 1930s. They got used to it. 🙂

 

DTM: Have you seen or heard of any success stories that have come from “The Great Love Debate”?

BH: 48 couples (that we know of!) are now engaged or married after first meeting at one of our shows. The effect of getting a couple of hundred people in a room, making them think, hearing them laugh, adding a few drinks, brings down so many walls that literally hundreds of dates have come out of the experience, not to mention the positive changes in dating, habits.

 

DTM: You’ve had some pretty great special guests on the show before, like former Bachelorette contestant and former Bachelor, Nick Viall. What’s it like having those great special guests on the show?

BH: We have had dozens of reality stars, award-winning actors, top comedians, best-selling authors, and just about every Bachelor and Bachelorette winner on our stage at least once, and the thing about love is that it’s the one thing that everyone – regardless of fame or background – has experience with, heartbreak to share, hope to build on, and opinions worth listening to.

Special guests of The Great Love Debate include Nick Viall and other greats

 

DTM: What is unique about singles and show contestants in New York City? 

BH: They aren’t afraid to speak their minds – especially the men. We do shows in Seattle or San Jose, and some of the men think, “If I have to speak, I am going to get laughed at tonight.” In NYC, the men think, “If I get to speak I’m going to get laid tonight.” Different energy!

 

DTM: What do you enjoy most about doing the show in NYC?

BH: The energy, the frustration, the stories, and the possibilities. The dating culture is really a microcosm of the city itself – sure it’s hard here sometimes…but it’s worth it!

 

DTM: Where is your favorite spot in NYC to perform or simply visit, particularly in the Downtown area?

BH: We have done shows here more than anywhere else, I am an NYC native and love to come back to the city. We have done theaters, comedy clubs, live music venues, but our experiences at City Winery have always been fantastic – spectacular venue, great crowds…and plenty of wine!

For more on entertainment from Downtown, click here.

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Lifestyle Uncategorized

3 Things Boyfriend Should Not Know to Strengthen Relations

3 Things Boyfriend Should Not Know to Strengthen Relations

Many couples say they have no secrets from each other and most likely they’re lying. However, there are still some things that should be kept under a hat. Some psychologists ask their clients: “Imagine that your whole life, from the beginning till this moment, was filmed on videotape. Do you agree to show it to your boyfriend?” The answer depends on what we mean by frankness in relations. According to American psychologists, couples where partners hide information from each other that can hurt their soul mate are stronger and happier. So, what does your partner should not know?

  1. He is not the best lover in your life

You have probably had some breathtaking sex adventures in your previous life. So what? Many online brides from Ladadate will prove: it is so rarely happened that sexy machos are good husbands and fathers. Those women who are well aware of this finally choose simply good guys as partners. So you did, right?

You should never tell your boyfriend about your ex-es, especially talk about them with admiration. You should never tell that the ex-boyfriend was more caring or attentive. If a woman compares her man with her ex, it will create a lack of confidence between you. Indeed, good sex can be achieved if both of you want it.

2. Your mother thinks you deserve better

Your mother dreams of her son-in-law to have a yacht and family castle. So what? Is it necessarily mean that you will be happy with such a man? Your parents probably love your boyfriend, especially if they see that you are happy with him.

On the contrary, it does not worth discussing his relatives with him — he did not choose them. Therefore, you should be patient and keep your mouth shut. If relatives are unpleasant in communication, you can try to meet them less often. Tell about it very delicately, so as not to create the impression that you are pushing him against his relatives.

3. You have extra expenditures

Of course, the family budget is a hot topic and you should discuss all the huge expenditures together. However, if you worked hard and saved some money for a brand autumn coat don’t tell your BF about this in detail. Let him be happy for you without thinking of extra-hours you took at the office or money you saved on lunches. Thus, you emphasize he is not able to earn money to meet his girlfriend`s expectations. It will make him less confident and more disappointed.

Loving, sincere, warm relationships and the desire to tell your soulmate every single thing are two different sides of the coin. Before you say anything, make a balanced decision, and let your words be followed by love, tact, and delicacy.

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Lifestyle Uncategorized

Are You Concerned Your Partner May Be Cheating?

Are You Concerned Your Partner May Be Cheating?

Being in a loving relationship is something that can make a big difference to your life. However, there are lots of people who believe they are in this type of secure relationship only to then find that their partner has been unfaithful. If you are concerned that your partner may be cheating, it is only natural to want to find out one way or another – but how can you do this?

Well, there are various ways in which you can find out more about whether your partner is likely to be cheating or not. If you have suspicions, but you aren’t completely sure, going in and accusing them outright may not be the right step, as it will simply destroy the trust in your relationship. What you can do, however, is to look out for certain signs that indicate if your suspicions are founded. In this article, we will look at some of the indicators to check out.

What You Should Look Out For

So, what signs should you look for when it comes to whether or not your partner may be cheating? One of them is a sudden increase in the number of calls your partner receives or makes. If your partner starts to receive a lot of calls and is cagey about who has been calling, this could be cause for concern. You can find tools that will enable you to determine who was actually calling, such as phone number search tools. If your partner told you it was someone else calling, you may then know that they have lied to you.

Another thing that often changes when someone is cheating is their social media usage and habits. You may have found that, in the past, your partner was very open about using social media sites like Facebook in full view of you, but that suddenly they have started to hide the screen. Or they use devices out of your line of sight. You may also find that they are spending far more time on social media, and you may hear private messages coming in. Another thing you may find is that your partner suddenly turns off the phone screen or shuts the laptop if you walk into the room.

You may also notice a difference when it comes to your partner’s social life and appearance if they are cheating on you. Perhaps your partner was always very casual with their appearance before but has now started to make a real effort. Maybe they have started going out a lot more and are not inviting you along. They may even start doing a lot of late nights at the office – or at least saying there are. All of these things are possible indicators that something may be going on.

Of course, you also need to be mindful that these things do not mean your partner is definitely cheating on you. However, by looking for signs like this, coupled with your gut feeling, you will certainly get a far better idea.

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Culture Entertainment Featured

“Tinder Tales” Podcaster David Piccolomini Talks Online Dating

David Piccolomini
Photo courtesy of David Piccolomini
Photo Courtesy of David Piccolomini

If anyone could be considered an online dating expert, it might be NYC Comedian David Piccolomini. His podcast, Tinder Tales, explores the often-bizarre world of online dating and has released more than 180 episodes over the last three and a half years. Each week, Piccolomini and a guest swap stories and examine dating habits, leading to strange revelations and good laughs. 

He also understands why online dating can be so confusing. Many of his listeners found his podcast while googling for Tinder advice. “People get on tinder and they’re freaked out,” he says, “There are so many options and so many people. Either nobody’s swiping on them, or too many people are swiping on them. It’s a lot. And then they’re like, ‘Well, there’s gotta be a podcast about this.’ And there is!”

Online dating might seem like a recent phenomenon, but Piccolomini has been at it for more than 15 years. As a young teen in Wilmington, DE, he spent a lot of time in AOL chatrooms talking to women he’d never meet. “It was kind of like I was prepping myself for the world of dating at large, or for this world that we’re in now, and I didn’t even know it. I was just like, ‘Oh, hey, this is the one way I connect.’”  

A decade later, he moved to Philadelphia to pursue stand-up comedy and picked up online dating again, this time actually landing dates. It became a hobby–one which he continued when he moved to NYC. 

It didn’t take long for Piccolomini to realize that he had something that others wanted. “I saw friends’ profiles and was like, ‘Oh, you look like a serial killer. That’s why no one’s matching with you.” He started to give advice, helping his friends find dates and partners. The more advice he gave, the more stories he heard. The podcast seemed like a logical next step.

The first episodes of Tinder Tales were recorded in the living room of his Brooklyn apartment. His first guests were other comedians who, he says, often make the best guests because they’re natural storytellers and not afraid of being honest. It’s a big part of what he values in a good episode of Tinder Tales: great stories, vulnerability, and humor. 

David Piccolomini
Photo courtesy of David Piccolomini.

“Part of what I like about doing tinder tales is the number of people I’ve talked to where they’re like, ‘Oh, I thought I was the only one who had this story,” or they listen to one of the episodes and are like, ‘I thought my story was crazy!” Some comedians will listen to each others’ episodes before they go out on a first date, just so that they’ll be prepared.

The stigma of online dating isn’t as bad as it was when Piccolomini started his podcast, but there are still a lot of misconceptions about it. “People look down on it sometimes, but I think it makes dating a more interesting experience. When I meet people through online dating, I know at the start that we have things in common. I don’t have to guess.”

Learning to find those people with similar interests is a common subject on Tinder Tales. The advice: find a way to work it into your profile. Piccolomini, a self-described “board game dork,” finds other fans with a dating profile which, among other things, asks a potential date to “settle the catan of my heart.” 

After three and a half years of Tinder Tales, Piccolomini has become more thoughtful about dating. One of his biggest takeaways, he says, is that–for the most part–nobody does dating “wrong.” It’s just a matter of preference. What is ghosting? When should things get sexual? It changes from person to person. “What I’ve learned,” he says, “is that the more you communicate, the better your overall experience will be.” Whatever your expectations are, make sure you let the other person know. 

That being said, he does have some general dating advice, no matter who you are or what you’re looking for in a date.

1. Ask Questions, preferably something personal–anything that makes it easier for them to respond. Stand out by actually saying something of interest, and whatever you do, don’t open the conversation with ‘Hey.”

2. Have Opinions, even if you disagree on those opinions. Chances are that any big differences were going to come up on date three anyways. 

3. Listen. If you’re not listening, you’re not responding or engaging. That sounds like a very boring date for the other person.

For more advice, and for some of the wildest true dating stories you’ll ever hear, you’ll have to listen to his podcast, Tinder Tales, available on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, tindertalespod.com, as well as most other podcasting apps.

If you’re looking for a good place to start listening, try one of these episodes:

Tinder Tales Podcast
Photo Courtesy of David Piccolomini

Emily Winter: “Timbs”

Stan Talouis: “This Is Who You Are”

Amamah Sardar: “Brosexual”

Hannah Harkness: “I Went Viral on Fetlife” or “Life Hack: Fuck ‘em Both”

Neel Nanda: “Everybody Gotta Get Touched”

Jess Reed: “Please Don’t Show Up Drunk”

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Lifestyle

Making the Most Out of Online Dating Sites

Online Dating

Here Are the Essentials

In 2015, online dating became a two-billion-dollar business with one in 10 Americans reporting they’d used a dating website or an app. Of these people, 25 percent said that they’d found their spouse online.

Today, online dating is even bigger, but some people are still not making the most of it.

What does it take to make online dating work for you? That’s the question we’ll ask today in an attempt to identify the approaches that yield the best results.

Know What You’re Looking for

Before signing up for an online dating service, you’ll need to have an honest conversation with yourself.

What are you trying to accomplish?

Are you just curious, are you lonely, are you looking for a casual fling or a long-term partner? If you know what your objective is, you can cut through the noise and communicate with people who have similar priorities.

There’s nothing wrong about being just curious. Still, you need to be honest and upfront about it in order to make the most of the opportunity.

Choose the Right Dating Platform

Online dating has become so diversified that you will come across dozens of platforms and apps that cater to the needs of different audiences. You can choose a person based on religious affiliation, interest, professions and body type preferences.

DoULike.com is one of the most popular dating websites and it appeals to those who don’t have a strict set of criteria and who’d like to communicate with more people. There are also specific options like senior dating or local dating if you have some preferences about that.

If you know that what you’re looking for is very niche and specific, you should definitely look into an opportunity that’s developed to address the preferences of similar-minded individuals.

Online Dating

Be Selective about the People You Contact

Sending messages to someone or chatting with them online demands emotional involvement.

You need to be selective about the people you decide to communicate with more thoroughly.

If you initiate a chat session with every individual that messages you, it’s likely that you’ll get burned out very fast.

Stick to people that you like and are genuinely curious about. Ask yourself a simple question – do I want to learn more about them? If the answer is no, you should definitely move on and attempt to find a connection with somebody else.

Don’t Use a Selfie as a Profile Picture

While we’d all want to be deeper, the truth of the matter is that we’re generally shallow and we’re drawn to appearances.

Hence, profile photos matter a lot in the online dating realm.

Scientific research suggests that the best profile photos are the ones that start a conversation. Thus, you should forget about the selfie. You should also be starting the right conversation, so no photos with your ex!

Choose a photo that speaks a bit more about who you are. It could be you engaging in a favorite activity. It could be you at a favorite place that you’ve traveled to. It could be you surrounded by your pets.

Show a part of your world online and you’ll be rewarded for the honesty.

Learn How to Message People You Like

What are the characteristics of a great message? It’s original, it’s flirty and it’s fun. Accomplishing these goals is incredibly difficult.

The number one rule of online dating communication is stay away from the clichés. If possible, refer to something you’ve seen on their profile. This approach demonstrates attention to detail and an interest in learning a bit more about the other person.

Being flirty is perfectly fine, asking for nudes is not. There’s a fine line between being sexy and being creepy. If you think that you’re taking it too far, you probably are. Tone it down a little until you find out what the other person is comfortable with.

Finally, remember that humor is a subjective thing. Keep it mild and innocent until you get to experience the other person’s sense of what’s funny and what’s not.

Online dating gives you a chance to learn through trial and error. Don’t take it too seriously and remember to have fun. It’s not the end of the world if you’re rejected by someone. There will be many other opportunities to explore.

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Living

Is New York City One Of 2017’s Best Places for Valentine’s Day?

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, and America’s sweethearts planning to spend an average of $136.57 each on the occasion. The personal-finance website WalletHub has released its report on 2017’s Best Places for Valentine’s Day, and New York City surprisingly doesn’t rank too high.

To determine the most romantic yet affordable cities for celebrating the Day of Hearts, WalletHub’s number crunchers compared 100 of the largest U.S. cities across 20 key metrics, ranging from “florists per capita” to “number of attractions” to “cost of a three-course meal for two.” WalletHub’s article also provides entertaining stats about the holiday in its Valentine’s Day Fun Facts infographic, as pasted below.

More information can be found here.

valentines-by-the-numbers-2017-v2