Author: Sunny Tsao

With the Governors Ball Music Festival quickly approaching, there’s many things you need to keep in mind beforehand. For the past five years, thousands of attendees are bombarded with the excitement and their own adrenaline. For a pretty young tradition, the festival has already become the New Yorker’s summer event staple, and there’s no better way to kick off the season! Brace yourselves. It’s going to be a colorful weekend, fun-filled with great artists, green grass (endlessly ingrained by golf balls!), sweaty people, lots of sun, and bad air! Here are our rules for a successful fret-free Governors Ball weekend:

I. Never underestimate the forecast. 

Whether it was 2013’s monsoon that had attendees tossing their shoes away and sloshing around in mud that essentially rose to their knees, or 2014’s scorching hot, 90 degree-plus weekend––you’ll never be expecting what chooses to fall from the sky in this day and age in 2015.

Basically–wear breathable clothing and don’t wear shoes you love.

II. Don’t judge the line by its length, check-in isn’t as bad as it may seem.

The check-in process before you get your wristband goes by pretty smoothly, but don’t pack too heavy. Open bottles/cans of water, juice, soda, etc. will be thrown away. Any bottles/cans of liquor, beer, etc. will be thrown away.

III. Try not to breathe… just kidding.

The air-quality is noxious (to put it lightly). The progeny of cigarette smoke, stage smoke, marijuana smoke, grill smoke, and what have you, will certainly do a number on your nasal canal.

Comparable to taking a walk through Hong Kong, some attendees experienced discoloration when they innocently blew their noses into a tissue upon arriving home. If your sinuses are sensitive, don’t forget to have some Mucinex and tissues handy!

IV. The bathrooms… will be… PORT-O-POTTIES. 

You can’t escape them. Don’t we all wish we can bring the comfort of the cushiony toilet seats from our apartments everywhere we go? Evil comes in a tangible form with port-o-potties. The self-operated hand-washing faucets outside the rest area lack soap so hand-sanitizer and baby wipes are a must!

V. HYDRATE!

Don’t let Rule #4 discourage you from quenching your thirst. This rule is fundamental. We know, we know… you’re going to want to drink beverages other than water, but water is most important. Have your fun, but also, drink water!!! Got it?

VI. Feed yourself.

We get it. You’re afraid to leave your really great spot in the crowd to grab a bite, but you’re starving. Meanwhile, you want to be as close to touching Drake as possible.

Food is essential, we all knew that one. Grab a bite. There’s so many options at the festival: kosher, vegan, vegetarian, gluten-free, etc.

VII. PEOPLE ARE GOING TO COLLAPSE.

Do you want to be one of them? Then eat and hydrate. With the smoldering June weather, it’s easy to become dehydrated. Remember, alcohol and coffee are dehydrators. Make sure to keep a balanced ratio of beer to water.

Keep in mind that by the end of each day, you’re going to be covered in dried sweat of strangers you were sardined with. It’s hard not to become overwhelmed when you have the weight of strangers on top of you coupled with distracting music blaring, and nowhere to escape to. The crowd gets pretty intense and people are going to be pulled out onto stretchers in order to be taken into the medic tents. Or even worse, being frantically carried by their friends.

VIII. Try not to get impatient with strangers.

Who wants to come back with a black eye? That’s embarrassing. Alcohol lowers inhibitions and when someone in the crowd shoves you aside without saying excuse me, naturally, you’re going to want to kick them. But don’t. Just don’t.

Someone taller than you is going to stand right in front of you, blocking your perfect view of Tame Impala. You realize you’ve been farther away from the stage since the set started, and it just feels like we only go backwards. Don’t confront the person who cut you off, just shimmy around them.